under my pussy cat
at least you aren’t in itArchive for Love
I’m Lost at Sea
“This lonesliness suites me quite well, don’t you think?”. I heard Leah Dizon say that in her song “Lost at Sea” off her new album, “Communication!!!”. It really made me think about myself, my personality and my image. I thought for a bit, “is that me?”, “am i that person?’. Do I come off as that person who seems to enjoy loneliness? Do I just repress it to the point where I think I hate it even though I don’t? Regardless of what thoughts I think, I don’t think it’s true. I got up and walked out of my room, down the hall way. Still thinking, I went to my bed and slept …
EXPLANATION AFTER THE BREAK
a poem i wrote, ‘all in vain’
I don’t really know if anybody here knows this, but I’m very fond if writing. Here is a poem while In a very dark mood. That being said, the poem is kind of dark also. Basically, the story was the fact that I found a guy who I really liked a lot. I didn’t pursue mainly because there were just tons of conflicting circumstances where it couldn’t work, and I was depressed about that. Although, I am ok now. :3
‘all in vain’
These thoughts that are floating in my mind
These feelings that are flowing out my heart
The love that I have was hard to find
I lost my happiness, although just a part
The search was unbearable
Yet the pain was worth it
And now, the happiness is real
But the love is useless
Wow, Waste of Time.
My Worst
I’m feeling more depressed right now than I normally am. All I really want, honestly, is a boyfriend. I’ve never had one before, probably, in my opinion, becuase I’m not cute. But that isn’t the point.
In the entire world, that’s the only thing I want.
In the entire world, that’s the only thing it seems I can’t have.
I’m sure it’s because I have someone like you and we understand each other
That I can overcome anything
So just hold me and don’t ever let me go
(Namie Amuro ; I WILL)
That’s what I want …
I’m not sure why, but it really just seems like I shouldn’t be allowed to have a boyfriend. And my friends, when I get depressed, just seem to ignore what I have to say.
Four Scenes of Love and Laughter
I’ll be alright being alone
(Namie Amuro ; Four Seasons)
This song, I can’t really relate to … It shows exactly how I don’t feel. I can’t be alone … I hate it. I hate having nobody I can be completely and totally honest with. I hate the fact that there’s nobody I can tell everything.
I just want somebody I can hold and someone to hold me. Someone I can support and someone who cna support me. Someone I can love, and who can love me.
That’s really, in the entire world, all I want …
I started crying before. I just couldn’t stop the tears from overflowing, and my friends aren’t helping in the least. The only things they say are either stupid and completely unreleated, or they just say stuff that doesn’t help. Either that or they ignore me completely.
I wonder what it is about me that everyone hates?
I escaped from the reality
Escaped from all the pain
I said to myself
“I’ll be my ideal self some day
Though I’m far from that now”
After such excuses, my eyes were opened
What I could do was only to live in the present time
(Ayumi Hamasaki ; walking proud)
Rafael. No, not TMNT.
Alright, so at the Applebees in Clifton, there is a REALLY cute Hispanic guy that works there named Rafael. Got a huuuuge crush on him. Also, I was the only person who thought he was cute! That was so weird. I wanted to hug him … Honestly, I wanna go back there one day soon and tell him how cute I think he is.
Well, I don’t really like him obviously. Just think he was a cutie. ;p
I wish i could have gotten a picture.
Ahhh, Dear Kevin
So Kevin, I know you’ll probably end up reading this eventually, since you’re like one of my best friends … but yeah, we get along so well, I really wanna go out with you more than you know. I mean, when you say “BOII” to me, I feel happier than anything, and when we ‘yagadawo’ i just can’t help many times but laugh out loud. I’m really close with you, I mean, i can confide honestly and truly with you more than I can with most other people, possibly everyone. I really DO care about you, and I really DO like you a lot. Just saying, you know? Love, Nico ;p
ps, boii, you’re an emoface ;p
So I like this boy.
His name is Robert. He’s 15, a year younger than I. He’s Pinoy, so that’s cool too. He’s pretty mellow, and has some pretty crazy hair! I’m not really sure what to say about him …
He’s pretty cool, hoesntly. I don’t really know him well yet, but i’d like to.
So yeah.
That’s it for now.
So I don’t really know If I should tell him or not.
